Hi, my name is Stephanie and today I
wanted to go over the Samantha Craft unofficial Asperger’s in females
checklist. So, I ran across this, actually, in my, kind of, journey of searching out
my theory on possibly having Asperger’s or high-functioning autism, and I thought
I’d go over it with you. I’m gonna try to do this quickly because it is a pretty
long list, but if you are a female suspecting that you are, you know, maybe,
on the spectrum or have Asperger’s or whatnot, or you have it and you want to
relate, or you’re just some random person who wants to know what people feel,
here’s this. Okay, so we have section A, deep thinkers. A deep thinker. I consider
myself one. A prolific writer drawn to poetry. Okay, maybe not that far. I’m
pretty good at writing. I’m actually really not that much into poetry. Highly
intelligent. According to tests, yes. Sees things at multiple levels, including
her own thinking process. I feel like that needs to be clarified, but possibly.
Analyzes existence, the meaning of life, and everything, continually. Yeah,
pretty much. Serious and matter-of-fact in nature. I don’t think I’m, like, super
bad at that, but I do take myself really seriously a lot of times and if I think
something is serious, I am very matter-of-fact about it. So, I’m not
exactly the most easygoing person in the world, but I know that there are people
who are a lot more serious and matter of fact than I am. Also, random, completely
random side note, I just wanted to add in here, I was just trying a different
aesthetic today. So, if you enjoy me stealing my husband’s … lovely sweater
thing here and I think this is also his beanie, too. So, anyway, I just wanted to
try it out. So, there’s that. Doesn’t take things for granted.
Ah, I don’t know about that one for me. Doesn’t simplify. I do have trouble with
that. Everything is complex. Again, very hard for me to, like, get things down to
where it makes sense for other people because it’s just too much. Often gets
lost in own thoughts and checks out with a blank stare.
Absolutely. … Section B, innocent. So, number one says naive. … You know,
honestly, no one wants to admit that they’re naive. No one
wants to think that they’re naive, and I’ve always thought of myself as very
smart and aware and … as I’ve been really looking at my life, yeah. I am a
bit naive. Too honest. Hello, I just admitted to you that I’m naive. … And
there’s a lot of things, like… Oh man. For example, I went to visit my father and he
has friends that go to my church. And so they said, ‘oh, did you tell him that we
said hi?’ and you know, honestly, I don’t remember saying specifically that they
said hi. So, I said I don’t think so. I don’t remember doing that. And it just
kind of caused this awkward situation because you’re supposed to be like, ‘oh,
yeah,’ and he’s, you know, he said hi’ or whatever. Just, like, little things that
really people would just appreciate for you to just, kind of, move on, but, like, it’s
hard for me, because I want to tell the truth. So, like, even with, like, I don’t
like making estimations, especially with, like, numbers and stuff because I don’t
want to give you misinformation. So, I have a problem with that. So, yeah, honesty
is kind of one of those things. Experiences trouble with lying. Just kind
of said that. Finds it difficult to understand manipulation and disloyalty.
Yes, when it’s happening, like, to me. It’s really difficult. When I see, like, when
I’ve recognized it in that individual and the tactics that they’re using and
they use it for, you know, other people, I can see it, but I find it difficult to
accept that people do that. I find it difficult to really think, like, that
person actually means that. I can see it if it’s detached from me, but if it’s,
like, someone in person, it’s hard for me to understand that. Finds it difficult to
understand vindictive behavior and retaliation. Yeah, I don’t understand why
people do a lot of things that they do and, anyways, so, yes.
Easily fooled and conned. Again, no one wants to say that that’s the case,
but sometimes I think it’s on a personal level. If it’s, like, a person-to-person
thing, I believe that people are honest and I think that’s what would lead to
being easily fooled and conned, but I think in a general sense, if it’s a, it
really fits anything that’s, like, detached from me, I can see it from a
mile away. But if it’s, like, right in my face with someone I believe, well, really,
any person because I just believe people. I believe that people,
you know, are gonna do the right thing because why would they lie? But people
lie and con people for no reason. So, yeah. I guess so; a little bit sometimes. Number
seven, feelings of confusion and being overwhelmed. Yeah. Let’s just say yeah on
that one. Number eight, feelings of being misplaced
and or from another planet. Misplaced, yes. I’ve never really felt like I was from
another planet, but I also, like, might be taking that literally, so. Number nine,
feelings of isolation. One hundred percent. Number ten, abused or taken advantage
of as a child, but didn’t think to tell anyone. Thankfully, no. Section C, escape
and friendship. Number one, survives overwhelming
emotions and senses by escaping in thought or action.
Yupper doodle. Number two, escapes regularly through fixations, obsessions,
and over-interest in subjects. Okay, so this is one of those things that I used
to do a lot. So, I used to be more obsessive with things, or at least openly
obsessive with things, but I got really shamed for it. Especially, you know, the
very stereotypical anime thing. I used to be very interested in anime and a
specific anime, like, I knew everything about it. I knew, like, what episode what
scene was from and this is, like, an over 500 episodes series and I still have a bit
of an affinity toward a particular series, but a lot of people were like, oh
you know, you shouldn’t be watching that. You shouldn’t be doing this, and part of
it came from ‘all anime is bad’ and all this stuff. And there are many things in
anime which I do not think are good. Like, I wouldn’t suggest anime as a genre to a
lot of people because there are a lot of tropes in there that are not appropriate
and are just really weird. But, so, anything that I kind of seemed
fixated on, or anything, like, that people seemed to shame that. So, I now, I try to cut
myself off from feeling that way. That’s just kind of how I am now.
Number three. Escapes routinely through imagination, fantasy, and daydreaming. Yeah,
usually especially if I’m, like, by myself. I try not to do that too much in, like,
around other people. Number four, escapes through mental
processing. That’s probably when I’m around other people. Escapes through
rhythm of words. I like the rhythm of words, yes. Philosophizes continually. … I don’t know if … maybe. I don’t know. Had imaginary friends in youth. No, I did
have online friends, which a lot of people thought were imaginary, but they
weren’t, so. Number eight, imitates people on television or in
movies. … Yeah, kind of, sometimes. If I see something long enough, I’m gonna
start imitating it a little bit. I’m not, like, super bad. I know some people are,
like, constantly doing that. I’m not constantly doing that, but I do it a
little bit. Treated friends as pawns in youth: example, friends or students,
consumers, members. That was not something I can relate to. And number 10, friends
with older or younger females more so than friends her age often in young
adulthood. Well, I’m in young adulthood right now, and I can tell you, absolutely.
… Especially as I was growing up, I was friends with my sister’s friends and my
sister’s six years older than me, or five and a half years older than me. And even
now, most of my friends are Justin’s age, and Justin is six years older than me.
People who I would consider close friends are actually even older than
that, and then I have some friends who are younger. I have, like, one or two, maybe,
that are my age. Imitates friends or peers in style,
dress, attitude, interest and manner, sometimes speech. I don’t know that this
one is necessarily right, mostly because I don’t bother to care that much. Is that bad? But mannerisms and speech is a thing. I noticed I’ll start picking up
odd things from people I talk to a lot and start doing them, too. And it’s kind
of annoying. Even in, like, the way they speak or something. I noticed I started
acting like a certain friend of mine and I couldn’t stop. I feel like everyone
does that to an extent, though. Obsessively … collects and organizes
objects. Surprisingly, I have not really had … that in my life that much. Except
from when I was a kid. I would, like, always get the little seashells out of
the playground, like, rock things and then I would color them. Like, I would try to
stay behind in class and color them with marker and I did collect stickers but
those were when I was younger. I don’t really do that much now. Mastered
imitation. I think so. I hope so. Because all y’all people seem to think I’m
pretty normal, I think. Escapes by playing the same music over and over. Yes. When I
cannot handle things, I will play the same song over and over
and over. But again, this is, I think does apply to other people, too. Number 15,
escapes through relationship, imagined or real. I don’t think so. I’m not aware of
it, at least, if that is the case. Number 16, numbers bring ease. Could be numbers
associated with patterns, calculations, lists, time and/or personification. Don’t
relate to that one, either. Escapes through counting, categorizing, organizing,
and rearranging. Not really, actually. I do like to count things, but usually I like
to count them in another language, like Japanese and that is usually pretty
temporary. Number 18, escapes into other rooms at parties. Absolutely. Who are
you kidding? I remember specifically one time, one of my friends had a sleepover
with a bunch of girls that I didn’t really know, and they were just being
weird and stuff, so I just, like. went in her room and sat there for like 20
minutes until she came to find me and she was like, ‘what are you doing?’
Number 19, cannot relax or rest without many thoughts. You know, that might be
true. It’s not something that I’ve really paid a lot of attention to, though.
Number 20, everything has a purpose. To some extent, yeah. … But there are so
many things, so maybe, we’ll just go with maybe on that and move on. Section D,
comorbid attributes. Number one, OCD, which is obsessive compulsive disorder. I have
not been diagnosed with that. Number two, sensory issues. Sight, sound, texture,
smells, taste, might have synthesia. I don’t have Synthesia, but I definitely do
have sensory issues. Generalized anxiety. Yes.
Sense of pending danger or doom. I think that has to do with anxiety, but I don’t
feel that particular sensation a lot. Number five, feelings of polar extremes:
depressed and overjoyed, inconsiderate and oversensitive. Yes. Yeah, yeah.
Number six, poor muscle tone, double-jointed, and/or lack in
coordination. No, I don’t have poor muscle tone. No, I’m not double-jointed, but I do have a
lack in coordination. Don’t know if those all have to be grouped together or not.
Number seven, eating disorders, food obsessions, and/or worried about what is
eaten. Not really, unless if you count me just being an overeater.
Number eight, irritable bowel and/or intestinal issues. Let’s not discuss that. Number nine, chronic fatigue and/or immune challenges. I don’t really
experience that. Number ten, misdiagnosed or diagnosed with a mental illness. Again,
no one really noticed anything for me, no one really cared, so no. I was not
misdiagnosed with anything. Number eleven, experiences multiple physical symptoms,
perhaps labeled a hypochondriac. … Not really.
Number twelve, questions place in the world. Almost every day. Number thirteen,
often drops small objects. Yes, more often I see that when I’m stressed, but I feel
like maybe that’s also a thing that a lot of people experience. Alright, guys, if
I moved, I just had to move the camera down. I noticed that I was, like, hanging
out down here. Number fourteen, wonders who she is and what is expected of her.
Yes. Number fifteen, searches for right and wrong. Abso-stinkin-lutely. All the
time. Number sixteen, since puberty has had bouts of depression and may have
PMDD. I’m not familiar what PMDD is, but yes with the since puberty has had
bouts of depression. Number seventeen, flicks/rubs fingernails. If you watch my
channel, you know I do that. Picks scalp or skin, I do that. Flaps hands, does that
sometimes. Rubs hands together, yep. Tucks hand under or between legs. I didn’t know
that this was a thing. Okay. I’ve done this, like all the time. Like, forever and
one time someone was sitting next to me and all of a sudden they’re like, ‘oh,
thanks for that. That’s really smart’ and I was like, ‘what?’ And they’re, like, ‘well,
it’s a lot warmer than putting my hands underneath my armpits.’ I’m like, ‘what are
you talking about?’ and I … looked down and realize I had my hands, you know, between
my legs and under my legs, and I thought everyone did this, but apparently not. I
don’t know. Keeps closed fist. Sometimes. Paces in circles and/or clears
throat often. Yes, and I have a really weird sound that I make, but to be fair,
it is, I am pretty sure, just really linked to having allergies and I like
make a weird sound and I’m itching my throat and everyone’s like, ‘ew, what are
you doing?’ Whatever. Section E, social interaction.
Number one, friends have ended friendship suddenly without the female
with AS understanding why and/or difficulty making friends. Yes, I get
confused about why we’re not, like, there’s one time, this is gonna
sound, like, super dumb. But there’s one time I hadn’t been talking much with a
friend of mine and then all of a sudden somehow, I realized they had unfriended me
and/or blocked me. I don’t know, I think they just unfriended me on Facebook.
Which, … I mean, okay, but at the same time, there was, like, no warning. There was no
warning in my world that they suddenly weren’t my friend. And I didn’t
understand why and it flipped me out for the longest time. So, I didn’t understand
how we had gone from being friends to not being friends, and I don’t understand
that. And I also don’t understand, there’s a lot of people that I considered really
close to me, and then I find out that, you know, I’ve gone from, like, best friend to
friend kind of. Or from friend to kind of talk to you, associate with you every
grand once in a while. And that really is mystifying to me for some reason. I
really should figure that out more. Number two, tendency to overshare. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Number three, spills intimate details to strangers. Okay, so, yes. I
actually do this and one, hello, I’m on YouTube and I am telling you a lot
of things that I probably shouldn’t or wouldn’t … a lot of things I wouldn’t
necessarily say to people that are close to me, and part of me thinks it’s because,
like, they can’t impact my life. So, like it’s not that big of a deal. But, yeah. I
do experience the whole, you know, spilling intimate details to strangers.
Number four, raised hand too much in class or didn’t participate in class.
Okay, well, I didn’t think there was a thing as raising your hand too much. I
thought you were supposed to raise your hand every time you knew the answer.
What’s wrong with that? Number five, little impulse control with
speaking when younger. Girl. I think so. I’m pretty sure, because I remember getting a
lot of … and a lot of glares for, like, talking over people and all that stuff. Number
six, monopolizes conversation at times. Yes, if I’m really interested, which is
so frustrating, because when I’m actually really interested in a conversation, I’m
probably going to try to do that, and so I have to really hold back. So, a lot of
times in conversations, I have to try to become disinterested just so that I
don’t run everyone over with what I want to say. Number seven, brings
subject back to self. Yeah, I’m pretty bad at that. Number eight, comes across at
times as a narcissistic and controlling, but is not narcissistic. I don’t know,
so someone can tell me if I come across that way or not. Number nine, shares in
order to reach out. Yup. Number ten, often sounds eager and
overzealous or apathetic and disinterested. Yeah, for real. Number
eleven, holds a lot of thoughts ideas and feelings inside. Yes, I find that a lot of
people do not value them or I’m not done formulating them to share them. Number
twelve, feels as if she is attempting to communicate correctly. Yes. Number
thirteen, obsesses about the potentiality of a relationship with someone,
particularly a love interest or feasible new friendship. Oh my goodness. If you
could ask my husband- I heard someone pick on someone for saying you can ask
so-and-so and they really can’t but if you could ask my husband, you would know
that I literally jumped around this house because I thought I was making a
new friend. Because they were … a Christian youtuber and we just seemed to
really click and she just seemed really cool and she was actually wanting to
talk to me, so I was like, oh my gosh I have a new friend, like, I have a friend.
Like, I have a friend. And I was just, like, super excited about it and when Justin
and I started dating, the first time we held hands, I was physically shaking. Like,
shaking. And I remember him being like, ‘I mean, that’s kind of weird, but okay. I
think you’re a little too, like, excited about this’ and I’m just like, ‘but you’re
holding my hand!’ So, yeah, yes. Number fourteen, confused by the rules of accurate eye
contact, tone of voice, proximity of body body stance, and posture in conversation.
Yes. Tone of voice, … I think we experienced this together as a community.
If you watched my video on how an autism diagnosis helped me, a viewer Jaichbinheir, said, you know, my heart felt yanked at the end because, you know,
you were giving this emotional thing and then all of a sudden, you’re like, thanks
for watching, guys! Blah, blah, blah. Because, I thought, you know, I’m getting too
emotional and I have to bring up the tone and it just, kind of, ended up inappropriate. So, that kind of stuff happens in real life
to me, too. Number 15, conversations are often exhausting. Absolutely.
Even when I’m really excited about them, I get really tired and I need a break.
Number 16, questions the actions and behavior of self and others continually.
Yes. Number 17, it feels as if missing a
conversation gene or thought filter. Sometimes, yes. I didn’t really think of a
“conversation gene” but just something, something here isn’t matching, I guess.
Number 18, trained self in social interactions through reading and
studying of other people. I haven’t really consciously thought of a lot of
these things until I sat back and thought about it. But yeah, I do watch
people and kind of try to grab what they’re doing, or I see someone and I’m like,
‘oh, so that’s what we’re supposed to do.’ Like, and that kind of thing happens to
me a lot, but I didn’t, like, sit back and be, like, let me take notes of how you’re
doing that. … Some people are like that. I’m not. Number nineteen, visualizes and practices
how she will act around others. Absolutely, and in fact doing that helps
me be able to, like, keep myself together. If you watched my vlog on going to a
Christmas parade block party, I shared a little clip of me talking to the crowd,
and the mannerisms, the voice, the words, except for I had to ad-lib because no
one responded, and so, I was like … have to say something, but all of that stuff, I
practiced over and over because I know that if I haven’t visualized it and I
haven’t practiced it, it’s not gonna go well. Number twenty, practices/rehearses
in mind what she will say to another before entering the room. Yes, especially
if I’m intimidated by that person. Twenty-one, difficulty filtering out
background noise when talking to others. Yes, this is so bad, especially when
they’re telling me important information because I just can’t and so
sometimes, sometimes it’s okay and other times, it’s like it almost feels like the
background is louder and more important the more they’re telling me things.
Number 22, has a continuous dialogue in mind that tells her what to say and how
to act when in a social situation. Not necessarily. Like, sometimes I think, Oh,
Stephanie you shouldn’t do that. Oh, Stephanie watch yourself. Oh, Stephanie
stop doing that there, they don’t know what you’re doing, or like, oh you should
probably sit up because you’re slouching and they’re not.
… So, there are that, but it’s not super continuous. I do have continuous dialogue
in my mind about other things, though. Number 23, sense of humor sometimes seems
quirky, odd, inappropriate, or different from others. Probably. Number 24, as a
child, it was hard to know when it was her turn to talk. Yes, and sometimes it
still is and it kind of ends up in, like, awkward silences and gaps and it’s kind
of awkward, but whatever. Number 25, finds norms of conversation confusing.
Yes, again. Number 26, finds unwritten and unspoken rules difficult to grasp,
remember, and apply. Yes, and that’s why a lot of the times, I try to make it a rule
in my head so that I know and I have to verbalize it and a lot of times I’ll ask
people. I’m like, okay so we’re supposed to actually do this, like, in a
conversation, right? And they’re like, yes? And, like, it’s weird to them that
I have to ask that out loud, but sometimes I have to just so I can hear it, and …
try to apply it. It doesn’t always work, but I try to. Section F, finds a refuge
when alone. [singing] Yes, I do my dear. For real, though. Number one, feels extreme relief when
she doesn’t have to go anywhere, talk to anyone, answer calls, or leave the house
but at the same time will often harbor guilt for hibernating and not doing what
everyone else is doing. Yes, but the guilt level is pretty low for me because I
enjoy not being anywhere, except for then I start feeling really isolated. Number
two, one visitor at the home may be perceived as a threat, this can even be a
familiar family member. Sometimes. Number three, knowing logically a house visitor’s
not a threat does not relieve the anxiety. Yeah, again this is … more
sometimes for me than it is, like, all the time.
Number four, feelings of dread about upcoming events and appointments on the
calendar. Yes. The Christmas parade block party was one of those. Number five,
knowing she has to leave the house causes anxiety from the moment she wakes
up. Yes. … Things I’ve been doing have helped with that, but yes. Number six, all
of the steps involved in leaving the house are overwhelming and exhausting
and think about. Yes, they are and see, this is the stuff that I didn’t
understand why I wasn’t like everyone else. Like, they could just be, like, okay
well, I’m just going to go do this thing and they just, like, get ready and they go
and it’s no big deal. Like going, taking a
shower and brushing your teeth and getting your clothes and all of these
things that you have to take care of are just, like, nothing to them and that is so
confusing to me because it is overwhelming and exhausting to me,
personally, and to think about them is already daunting enough. Number seven, she
prepares herself mentally for outings, excursions, meetings, and appointments,
often days before a scheduled event. Yes, sometimes I think, oh I’ll be fine, and
then I totally, like, freak myself out because I didn’t prepare myself and kind
of visualize. Number eight, OCD tendencies when it comes to concepts of time, being
on time, tracking time, recording time, and managing time. Could be carried over
to money as well. Sadly, no. I’ve noticed that I’m actually starting to lose my
grasp and sense of time, I don’t know why, it just seems to be getting worse for me.
I don’t know. Number nine, questions next steps and
movements continually. Somewhat. Number ten, sometimes it feels as if she’s on
stage being watched and/or a sense of always having to act out the right steps,
even when she is home alone. No, usually just in public for me. Number eleven,
telling self the right words and/or positive self-talk, CBT, doesn’t typically
alleviate anxiety. CBT may cause increased feelings of inadequacy. Yeah,
actually, because people tell you, like, oh don’t
say that stuff to yourself, oh, say this and that, and then it’s like. if I say
that, I feel like I have to feel that right now, and then it makes me feel
worse. … So, yeah, no. Positive self-talk usually makes things … worse for
me. Number twelve, knowing she is staying
home all day brings a great peace of mind. Yes, yes it does. Number thirteen, requires a large amount of down time or alone time. Yes, and this is something
that doesn’t seem to, it’s one of those things that makes people kind of upset.
Like family and friends, because they don’t understand when we’re all together
and stuff why I need to go away. I need some downtime. Number fourteen, feels
guilty after spending a lot of time on a special interest. Yes. Number fifteen,
uncomfortable in public locker rooms, bathrooms, and/or dressing rooms.
Absolutely. I do not go in public locker rooms. I don’t like the public bathrooms,
but I go to them because I have to and I’ve actually worked a lot on dealing
with going to the bathroom in a public bathroom. … And dressing rooms kind of
freak me out, too. Number 16, dislikes being in a crowded mall, crowded gym and/or crowded theater. Yeah, I’ve actually gotten super overwhelmed several
times, especially in the theater. Section G, sensitive. Oh, that’s the word
that pretty much everyone used for me for a very long time.
Number one, sensitive to sounds, textures, temperature, and/or smells when trying to
sleep. Oh my goodness, yes. Or like, when there’s something being demanded of me,
it’s almost like all of these things heightened and it’s, it’s awful. Adjust
bed clothes, bedding and/or environment in an attempt to find comfort. Again, I
feel like everyone does that. Number three, dreams are anxiety ridden, vivid,
complex, and/or precognitive in nature. Yes, yes. I don’t, I don’t typically
like dreaming anymore, especially recently. It just seemed to, seem to get
worse. Number four, highly intuitive to others’ … feelings and I find it so
interesting that this was on that list. Because, again, if you listen to me a
little bit on my, kind of, journey to getting a diagnosis and everything I
thought, you know, I couldn’t be, you know, on the spectrum or have Asperger’s
because everyone was like you don’t understand people’s feelings, or you
don’t feel those things. No, I am highly intuitive to other people’s feelings and
that was another thing about, you know, INFJ and everything. It’s like, I feel
them. Like, I feel your feelings. So, I thought that was interesting that that
was on the list. Number five, highly empathetic, sometimes to the point of
confusion. Yes. Number six, takes criticism to heart. Probably one of my greatest
flaws. Number seven, longs to be seen, heard, and understood.
Hello, that’s why I made this channel. Number eight, questions if she is a
normal person. Well, I found my answer. I’m technically
not. Number nine, highly susceptible to outsiders’ viewpoints and opinions. Yes,
and that is why sometimes I just gotta ignore comments on more popular videos. Number 10, at times adapts her view of life or
actions based on others’ opinions or words. Oh my goodness, yes. You have no
idea how much other people’s ideas of how I should be, how their thoughts on me,
their opinions of me, their words, really changed how I acted and how I lived my
life, especially as a teenager. I hope that it’s not that bad now, but that can
be really, really bad. It can be really bad and that for a while was really bad
for me. Number eleven, recognizes own limitations in many areas daily, if not
hourly. More daily for me and sometimes it was hourly if I was like really at a
bad place, but just seeing that why, why am I, you know ,why am I hitting this wall
when no one else seems to be and even in this little thing, even like, you know, the
getting ready thing. Yes. Number 12, becomes hurt when others
question or doubt her work. Yeah, definitely. Number 13, views many things
as an extension of self. Somewhat, yes. Number 14, fears others’ opinions,
criticism, and judgement. Working on that one.
Number 15, dislikes words and events that hurt animals and people. Yes. Number 16,
collects or rescues animals often in childhood.
Surprisingly, no. Interestingly enough, I am not a huge animal person. I don’t know
if it just kind of, I was over it when I was younger and I felt attachment and
kept feeling disappointment. I don’t know, but I have Nala and that is as far as
I’m going with animals. Number 17, a huge compassion for
suffering, sometimes for inanimate objects and personification. Yeah, yeah.
Kinda, yeah. … I have cried over so many stupid things because I felt that it was,
it was suffering. … But one of those things I think I’ve been getting over.
Number 18, sensitive to substances, environmental
toxins, foods, alcohol, medication, hormones, etc. I believe so, somewhat.
I don’t really know about like, alcohol or I don’t know how you test
environmental toxins, but I am fairly sensitive to substances, I believe. Number
19, tries to help, offers unsolicited advice, or formalizes plans of action. Did
that a lot more when I was younger. Now, I’m just like you do you, because you’re
obviously not going to listen to me, so. Number 20, questions life, purpose, and how
to be a better person consistently. And this was a thing that I
would actually just go in circles and beat myself up about, because I, I didn’t
understand why I wasn’t better. Number 21, seeks to understand abilities, skills,
and/or gifts. Yes. Section H. Sense of self. Number one, feels trapped between
wanting to be herself and wanting to fit in. Still a thing, really working on
embracing who I am and just saying enjoy your life, guys, because fitting in just
doesn’t seem to be that much worth it at this point. Number two, imitates others
without realizing. Yes, started realizing it, though. Number three, suppresses true
wishes, often in young adulthood. In young adulthood here, and yes. Yes, that was
really bad especially, about the time I was getting married and after that. A lot
of those things, I really, really did suppress a lot and really couldn’t bring
them up. Especially for planning my wedding. It was like oh, what would you want
to do? And I’m just like, I don’t know because it was like I had tried to let
go of any want or desire of anything because it would not happen or it wasn’t
going, I don’t know. It just, it’s weird how I did that. It is just a thing.
Exhibits codependent behaviors often in young adulthood. Yeah, kind of. Number five,
adapts self in order to avoid … ridicule. Yes, except for sometimes now I
just say forget it. Number six, rejects social norms and/or questions social norms. Got you there. Number seven, feelings of extreme
isolation. I think we’ve done this one already, but again, absolutely. Number
eight, feeling good about self takes a lot of effort and work. Yeah, it really
does. Number nine, switches preferences based on environment and other people.
Yeah, it’s really bad sometimes. I gotta watch it
because I’m like at the same time I want to be, like, honest I think my honesty
ends at myself. So, like, and I think it’s also because I don’t really know anymore
and so, like, a lot of times I’ll adjust for other people and I believe
that’s kind of what they’re saying. Switches behavior, number 10,
based on environment and other people. Very similar, yes. Number 11, didn’t
care about her hygiene, clothes, and appearance before teenage years and/or
before someone else pointed these out to her. Yeah, I would actually go places with
my dad in my pajamas and refuse to take a shower. It was great.
Number 12, freaks out but doesn’t know why until later. Number 13, young
sounding voice. I don’t think I do. Number 14, trouble recognizing what she
looks like and/or has occurrences of slight prosopagnosia which is difficulty
recognizing or remembering faces. And this one, like, blew my mind because this
is something I definitely experience. And I started looking into prosopagnosia
and I definitely do think that I have very slight … prosopagnosia and I’ll even,
like, be looking in the mirror and have trouble accepting the reflection I’m
seeing is me. And other people, like, I’ll have to kind of piece together parts of
their faces and keep watching them as they do things and listen for their
voice to really be assured that that’s them. So, I do have a little bit of
trouble recognizing my own self and what other people look like. Number fifteen,
feels significantly younger on the inside than on the outside, perpetually
twelve. Okay, … so, for the longest time, I considered myself a very mature person.
I thought that I was older than all these people, very mature, and as I’ve
gotten older. I do feel like I’m perpetually 12. Like, it is ridiculous,
so here I am. I am 24 now and yet on the inside I really do sometimes felt like
I’m just a 12 year old and everyone else seems to have, like, just general life
things figured out and I can’t seem to grasp at it and I’m cool with, you know,
having candy and being a hyper child, like, … and I’ve seen this with other people and
it’s really interesting to watch it in other people. But there you go. You know, I
said this video was hopefully not gonna be that long, but I’m pretty sure it’s
gonna be like 40 minutes or something. Section I, confusion. Number one, had a
hard time learning that others are not always honest.
Still working on really believing that concept. Like, I get that that’s a thing
but it’s still hard for me to really believe it.
Number two, feelings seem confusing, illogical, and unpredictable, self’s and
others’. abso-stinkin-lutely. Number three, confuses appointment times, numbers,
and/or dates. I think probably, on average, the same amount as everybody else.
Number four, expects that by acting a certain way, certain results can be
achieved, but realizes in dealing with emotions, those results don’t always
manifest. I think so. Number five, spoke frankly and literally in youth. I don’t
know. No one really tells me a whole lot about that. I feel like I did a little
bit, the more I start thinking about this stuff … and really when I have a
memory and I’m like, oh, I kind of did but I don’t think it was like super obvious.
Like, some people are. Number six, jokes go over the head. A lot of the times, yes.
Number seven, confused when others ostracize, shun, belittle, trick, and
betray. Yes, and so a lot of the time what I’ve learned how to do is just assume
that everyone is trying to do that because I can’t tell when they are and
when they aren’t. Number eight, trouble identifying feelings unless they are
extreme. Yep. Number nine, trouble with emotions of hate and dislike. Also, yes.
Number ten, feel sorry for someone who has persecuted or hurt her.
Oh, yes and no. I used to a lot more and now I’m starting to decide, like, it’s
okay for me not to feel sorry for them. Number eleven, personal feelings of anger,
outrage, deep love, fear, giddiness and anticipation seem to be easier to
identify that emotions of joy, satisfaction, and calmness, and serenity.
Yes, I think so. Number twelve, difficulty recognizing how
extreme emotions, outrage, deep love, will affect her and challenges transferring
what has been learned about emotions from one situation to the next. I think
this is a little more complex than I have really reflected about my own
personal emotions, so I probably can’t give you an honest answer on that one.
Number thirteen, situations and conversations sometimes perceived as
black or white. Yes, I’m really bad at that and I’ve been learning to
understand that things are more complex. There isn’t just a completely yes and a
completely no to a lot of things. That’s something I think a lot of people
honestly deal with … but it really bothers me when there is not like a yes
and a no and a right and a wrong and I’m learning about that. I’m trying to share
my learning with you guys, even, like with the Lauren Daigle thing. You know, some
things just aren’t black or white and we have to be able to see that there are
complex things and there slight shades of gray in here and they’re just, there’s
just a lot of complexity to situations and conversations and stuff like that.
Number fourteen, the middle spectrum of outcomes, events, and emotions is
sometimes overlooked or misunderstood, all-or-nothing mentality. I do have an
all-or-nothing mentality, been working on it. Was extremely criticized for it for
the longest time when I was a teenager. Number fifteen, a small fight might
signal the end of a relationship or the collapse of the world. Yes, I cannot
handle them. Oh, it’s so bad. Number sixteen, a small
compliment might boost her into a state of bliss. Also true. Section J, words and
numbers and patterns. Number one, likes to know word origins and/or origin of
historical facts, root cause and foundation. Not really.
Number two, confused when there is more than one meaning or spelling to a word.
Also, not really. I was actually really good at this in English and stuff. I
don’t know why. Number three, high interest in songs and
song lyrics. I wouldn’t say high. I’d say probably like mediocre amount.
Number four, notices patterns frequently. That I can agree with. Number five,
remembers things in visual pictures. Usually. Number six, remembers exact
details about someone’s life. Only if I was, like, super interested. That sounds
really bad, but. Number seven, has a remarkable memory for certain details. You know, my dad can remember everything
detail-wise. He can tell you the time, the day,
and what happened like that. I’m not that great at that. Number eight, writes or
creates to relieve anxiety. That is definitely me. Number nine, has certain
feelings or emotions toward words and/or numbers. I don’t think so.
Number ten, words and/or numbers bring a sense of comfort and peace akin to a
friendship. Again, I really don’t relate to that one. This is an optional group.
Executive functioning and motor skills. This area isn’t always as evident as
other areas. So, number one, simple tasks can cause extreme hardship. Yes,
especially when under like a lot of stress. There was one day I literally was,
like, crying, saying I couldn’t cut a piece of paper and I was not a child.
Number two, learning to drive a car or rounding the corner in a hallway can be
troublesome. I literally thought it was going to be impossible for me to drive a
car. Like, I’m not kidding you, while I was learning it, I was like, I don’t, I don’t
even think that’s as possible at this point. And, I run into the, I run into
things a lot with my shoulders. Number three, new places offer their own set of
challenges. Yes, and do not change things that I like and I’m familiar with. The
layout of Aldi changed in my local area and I was literally just, I couldn’t. I
had to, I started crying because I just, I couldn’t find what I wanted to find,
nothing was where I knew it would be. I just did not like it and I don’t like
going to new places. Number four, anything that requires a
reasonable amount of steps dexterity or know-how can rouse a sense of panic. Yes.
Number five, the thought of repairing, fixing, or locating something can cause
anxiety. To a degree, yes. Number six, mundane tasks are avoided.
Somewhat and other times I feel more confident in things that, like, I know how
to do but it depends on the situation. Number seven, cleaning self and home may
seem insurmountable. Number eight, question, many questions
come to mind when setting about to do a task. Yes, and people hate me for it.
Number nine, might leave the house with mismatched socks,
shirt buttoned incorrectly, and/or have dyslexia and/or dysgraphia. Not that I’m aware of. I try not to do
that hmm-mm. I’m not gonna say I look great when I leave the house. Number 10, a
trip to the grocery store can be overwhelming. Yes, see Aldi again.
Number 11, trouble copying dance steps, aerobic
moves, or directions in a sports gym class. Are you kidding me? Okay. Yes. I had
a thing in seventh, no, in eighth grade choir. We were doing this choreographed
singing thing and it was a hot mess. So bad. I was so slow on the uptake for that.
It was mm-mm. Number 12, has a hard time finding
certain objects in the house, but remembers with exact clarity where other
objects are. Not being able to locate something or thinking about locating
something can cause feelings of intense anxiety. Object permanence challenges,
even with something as simple as opening an envelope. I don’t think the second
part really applies to me. I think the first part probably applies to, like,
everybody. So, this has been the Samantha Craft unofficial asperger’s in
females checklist. That’s probably not exactly how it’s titled, but I hope that
you enjoyed going over it with me and maybe you have identified with some of
the things on the list. If you have, let me know in the comments below. I hope you
enjoyed it. I know this one’s been pretty long, but I enjoyed being able to just,
kind of, sit down and talk with you guys and go over the checklist. So, if you liked
this video, go ahead and give it a thumbs up. Again, let me know what you’re
thinking in the comments below, and if you haven’t subscribed already, please do
so. I hope you’re having a wonderful day, week, or whatnot, and I will see you in my
next video. Bye!